


all lies, no promises

by kivancalcite



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted anyway, Betrayal, Blood and Injury, Canon Universe, Child Abuse, Death, Drabble, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Guilt, Headaches & Migraines, Inspired by Music, Manhandling, Murder, Omnicide, POV First Person, Physical Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Restraints, Strangulation, Swearing, Torture, Verbal Abuse, Violence, no sense of personal space as usual, technically with the MASSIVE age gap here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28917774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kivancalcite/pseuds/kivancalcite
Summary: Drabbles about the unfortunate interactions between Ego and his half celestial child. Alternate universe where they're his child and exploring the exact feelings and situations that they are put through on his behalf for his absolutely abhorrent machinations for the universe.
Relationships: Ego the Living Planet & Original Character
Kudos: 1





	1. all over again

_Just a space child. Destiny took me from the earth and threw me into the stars. I was forced to belong somewhere that I felt like I didn’t. I couldn’t be here._

_But he convinced me I did._

_At first this was through soft, fatherly gestures and a desire to understand. I saw it initially as a desire to understand to be able to treat your offspring better and get on, but he was more about how a scientist dissects a specimen._

_I thought he was trying, not pretending._

_Now he made me learn through pain and loss…all over again._


	2. this isn't real love

_It wasn’t a real knife. But it didn’t make the pain any less real. It burnt through my skin, between my ribs, spreading through my nerves._

_I couldn’t be less possessed, screaming with light. “You belong here with me, your father!!” he exclaimed. No, I don’t, I thought. I don’t belong anywhere. No thanks to you. I could’ve been someone without the light, without you deciding my fate._

_You say, ‘belong with’. In reality, I belong to you. But you don’t want to say that, even when you’re killing me._

_But I guess this is love to you, after all._


	3. there is no ‘us’

_All you’ve done is tether me to you. All you’ve done is possess me. Possession of my soul, of me as property._

_I can’t be tethered to such an abomination. You convince me as life is draining from me: that I have a purpose. My half-god identity means something. That I was making a mistake._

_You can’t dare to say how I belong to you. You make this about ‘us’, when it’s just ‘you’. You wouldn’t be destroying me from the inside out otherwise._

_Wish I had the strength to show you the love you show me._

_It’s only fair._


	4. never again

_“Don’t you dare tell me who I am!!”_

_“Why shouldn’t I?? I’m your father, and you don’t appreciate what I’ve done for you!!”_

_I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He treated bloodshed like an actual sacrifice for himself. In my own mind, I knew who I really was. And another person like him demanding gratefulness by hurting innocents wasn’t going to stop me._

_Not even at the shock of something burning and shimmering wrapping around my throat. I wouldn’t bend to his will. I’d been hurt so many times before; now I didn’t care._

_This wasn’t happening again._

_Ever._


	5. all you wanted

_It almost seemed so simple. Sitting in the same place she had before, tethered to some monster of a planet. She dreamt of the time she spent with her mother, on Earth, before she was dragged away by an unsympathetic crew of aliens._

_He was just another one of them. One that actually had the cruelty of pretence before anything happened. But still – another one just the same._

_She at least hoped he’d be understanding. Find ways that she hoped she could stay, and have a real home again._

_Funny, she remarked. The light that bound her did exactly that._


	6. unlike you, i have morals

_I’d say how much I could sense his presence, but he was the planet itself. But he was there, in his stupid human form, acting the same way he did before like all the stuff in between hadn’t happened._

_I afforded herself the benefit of not looking at him. Everything he resembled was now disgusting. At the very least he didn’t deserve that kind of attention._

_“I just wanted to show you your purpose. Aren’t you grateful for that?”_

_Andy wanted to vomit at that fatherly tone of voice. No, I wasn’t. I happened to give a shit about others._


	7. the more i see, the less i like

_He bent down in front of me. I was shaking, avoiding his gaze. Afford me some personal space. He was already the whole fucking planet._

_“Look at me.”_

_Three simple words that were a weight in my stomach. My walls were falling the closer he got, and I closed her eyes, pretending I was somewhere else._

_“No,” I swallowed._

_His voice was dripping with the same condescension I heard as my music player was destroyed beneath his feet._

_“Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand who the parent is here.”_

_I felt a migraine blooming behind my eyes. Ah. That’s it._


	8. sick of your bullshit

_I had my share of manhandling, when I wasn’t restrained. He’d dragged me up by her collar when I had collapsed on the floor._

_“What a pathetic excuse of a child,” he grimaced, more at me than to me. I’d hung there limply, sick and bleeding and tired. It wasn’t long until he threw me back down again, muttering about how I wouldn’t listen._

_“I’d listen,” I said, breathing heavily, “if you were less keen on torture and murder.”_

_He glared at her. It was a moment before I could feel a familiar light burning tightly around my neck again._


	9. don't lie to me

_I practically fell out of bed, screaming. I heard them all. I heard EVERYTHING, even when I was nowhere near the light._

_He obviously appeared at the sound and I panicked as he approached. No, no, no, don’t come anywhere near me! Don’t touch me! I was begging him to not come closer before he got frustrated._

_“Andy if you just—let me—I’m your father!!”_

_He suddenly yelled, out of nowhere grabbing my wrist and looking me dead in the eyes._

_I couldn’t breathe, unable to free myself. I saw that smile, saw it happen. Clearly, he relished this._


	10. hanging on by a thread

_His eyes bored into mine. “What is it? What could possibly make you so upset?”_

_I was shaking. I didn’t want to say, couldn’t say. I hated just how much he actually enjoyed this. People were prey to him. Like my mother._

_My mother. The one he suddenly admitted to killing._

_I could feel pain and anger tear up inside me. Light burnt behind my eyes._

_I felt herself surprisingly tear away from him. I ran from him, ran from the room without looking back._

_“Everything,” I seethed, prickling with energy, “everything about your whole damn existence makes me upset!!”_


	11. the power of love

_“Andy!!” I heard him angrily shout, “you get back here—!!!”_

_I felt light flooding my entire body. I wasn’t having this anymore, spinning on my heel to face him across the hall—_

_—before an entire surge of energy exploded from inside me, crashing against the walls and ceilings that began crumbling and shaking the foundations around them._

_I was breathing heavily, the sudden expulsion of light taking some of the life out of me. It was hard to stand upright._

_I would’ve wondered where he’d disappeared to, before a bolt of light struck me right through my chest._


	12. he took their light for himself

_Of course, he wouldn’t let go of me that easily. I had barely a fraction of his power, even if it was enough to demonstrate my capabilities._

_I was too tired to realise what had happened, choking out a gasp of surprise and pain as the light pierced my chest._

_The residual glow from my body had faded, the light now draining into the planet. Everything came rushing back full force – the screams, people running as this…thing descended upon them._

_All this power I had, and I was forced by him to murder people with it. True purpose?_

_Fuck off._


	13. and attempted to destroy their soul

_“It’s not that simple,” he said, stepping out amidst the light and rubble, “in fact, it’s pathetic.”_

_He looked at my still half-kneeling, half-sitting form with a grimace. He looked disgusted with my trivial attempt at defiance._

_“I’m showing you your damn purpose. And it’s frank to see you’re far too immature to use your power so recklessly.”_

_He snapped his fingers, streams of light rising up to agonisingly spear through my head and wrap around my neck, wrists and ankles, in some sick act of childish punishment._

_“Maybe like this you’ll learn to grow the fuck up for once.”_


	14. playing god

_you say you’re doing the best for me_

_still you hurt me with a smile on your face_

_you do what you want, like it’s some sort of game,_

_and yet hate it when someone’s onto your case_


	15. was that an angel i saw

_just the devil in disguise_

_he fell from heaven_

_he’s silver-tongued_

_still has those **angel eyes**_

\------

_an angel in nothing but name_

_you spring forth from light with silver tongue_

_and only dirty life itself with your game_

_either dead or bullets in a gun_


	16. you take the breath right out of me

_love? **love?** _

_you poison with love, you kill and destroy_

_your answer to love is death._

_if this is how you love, then I will show it back_

\-----

_the closer I look in your eyes, the less I really see_

_as revealing your true nature, see there’s nothing looking back at me_

\-----

_you used to be someone who made me feel less alone_

_now you’re someone who can never possess me, however hard you try_


	17. don't you dare look at him in the eyes

_she used to call me “the light of her life”_

_now it hurts to know you were her angel of light_

_you were only that in name_

_I refuse to bear any connection_

_to the Devil himself_


	18. this will not be the end of me

_I had no choice in being born, so I should not be so damn grateful_

_I will fight as long as it takes, as long as I am alive_

\-----

_sleep, perchance to dream of something other than you_

_other than the screams_

_other than what you put there_

_get out of my head_

_\-----_

_i was not born a saviour_

_i was not born to destroy_

_i was not born as your living weapon_

_not a plaything, not a toy_

_i was born to live and breathe and rise_

_not be part of a murderous ploy_

_can’t you see why i’m not grateful_

_oh, that’s right,_

_getting your way is your true joy!_


End file.
